U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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