She went from zero to smokin in five shots
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
