Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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