she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
