K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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