Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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