he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
