Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I want to have your abortion
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
