im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
