I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
