that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
