just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
