I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
