I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
