Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
