I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
