Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
