The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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