You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
