Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if i died would you start the facebook group?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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