I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Life is so much better after having sex.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
