She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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