how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
