people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
