I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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