my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
