there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
