Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
