so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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