What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
