Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
