So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
