God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
