Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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