and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
