i will never coherently bang her
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
