Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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