Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
