she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
