A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
