You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm sobbing to NWA
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
