yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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