k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We're too hungover to prance.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize