Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
