now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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