Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
