I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
