He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
