My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I would fuck him just for his dog
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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