About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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